And it’s cancer, probably. It’s been a tough few days for my family. On Friday, I went in for an MRI after dealing with sinus headaches and some dizziness over the last few months. Doc calls me on the way back from the appointment and tells me I have a brain tumor. Seriously? I’m 32, have little kids, this can’t be happening.
Friday night, my wife goes into labor. She’s only a few days away from her due date but I’m sure the news 8 hours earlier triggered it. So, now I have a daughter, which is nothing but awesome, but I can’t help thinking about her future and mine, and how much they’ll overlap.
Today is Monday. I met with Dr. Rostomily at UW who specializes in base of the skull tumors. I know more now, but still not enough. I have to undergo a series of tests over the next week to fully evaluate what I’ve got. In 2 weeks, I’ll have surgery. It’ll be a 12 hour surgery, I’ll stay in the hospital for a week and then I’ll get radiation treatment after.
I’ve shared the news with some people but not everyone. It’s a strange thing anyway – “hey, check out photos of my gorgeous daughter and by the way, I have brain cancer.” Every conversation is emotionally draining for me. Sadness in their voices, questions I don’t know the answers to, awkward silences – it’s a little too much sometimes. So, to my friends and family I haven’t talked to, sincerely sorry but this is what you’re gonna get. I’ll give as much info as I know here…
Most common question “are you going to live?” If it’s at all beatable, I’ll beat it. At this point, it looks like it is, but they’re still doing more tests. I have a spinal MRI, ecco and a slew of other tests this week. And I likely have to do an angioplasty. I have a vague recollection of what that is from one of those doctor shows, but I haven’t looked it up b/c I may not have to do it and I feel like it’s probably going to suck.
The tumor is an ependymoma. I have my MRI scans where you can see it. I naively asked for the images thinking it would be cool before I knew what was in them – in retrospect, not as cool when you have a life threatening tumor you can see. It’s 4cm on the longest side, so a couple of inches. It’s a big tumor, but it’s not growing in my brain matter, it’s growing in some empty space near my cerebellum. If it grows more, I could lose my hearing, facial muscle control, balance (like I can’t walk anymore), or I could get hydrocephalus. Right now the tumor isn’t cutting off any of my CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) which is what could cause hydrocephalus.
Thanks for all the texts, positive thoughts and prayers.
Hillary said:
Wow – I am so sorry to read this! Please know I am thinking about you and your family! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Things happen at very strange times, don’t they?!
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W said:
Ronnie, saw this go through my Facebook when one of our mutual friends liked the status. Favorite line: If it’s at all beatable, I’ll beat it. Amen.
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Matilde Hanna said:
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
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Carmen Cornejo said:
Ronnie, congratulations on your baby daughter, what a blessing!
I’ll be praying for you, keep your faith strong. God bless you and your family.
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Bryant said:
Whoa. My thoughts are with you and your family man. I know you’re gonna pull out of this okay.
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Ogonna said:
Praying so hard for you and your family. Take good care.
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brad wolfe said:
Ronnie,
Count me in to follow your journey, support you, and watch you kick this thing’s ass. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years ago that turned out to be a misdiagnosis after months of more tests, so i can only relate to the initial feeling of darkness. However, I know that with your beautiful family and the wonder of life all around you, you can gain the strength you need. stay up. I’m thinking of you.
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Laura Ball said:
Hi Ronnie,
My name is Laura. I don’t know you, but I grew up with your beautiful wife. I want to start with telling you that you and your family are in our prayers. Mostly I’m writing to give some advice. Although I hope I’m not out of line… My husband was diagnosed with cancer at 29 years old and it was not as serious, but going through it so young, with a little one at home combined with all the worry of what was to come was by far the hardest thing we have ever done. My heart was shattered, I was devastated and I had no idea what he was feeling. My hope is that you surround yourself with people that bring comfort, strength, and normalcy. Never feel bad for not letting people in. Your needs can and will change daily and people will understand! You can fight this and your wife can and will be there for you! You are not a burden, you are her world, all she needs you to do is rest, fight, and let her be there for you. We are praying that you walk from this victoriously. Lots of strength being sent your way from Nor Cal.
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Michele said:
Ronnie – We haven’t spoken in ages, probably since when I left Google when Lucas was born, so coming up on seven years. FB posted your link in my newsfeed because Regina and Hannah both commented on it, and so I guess I should thank their algorithm.
Cancer sucks. Finding out you have a brain tumor and a few hours later a new life enters the world, what a strong range of emotions that must be for your family. You and your wife must be reeling.
I am praying that you beat this thing. That you’ll get to see your little ones become big ones. And that your family has a strong support system of friends and loved ones that can come around and help you with what you need.
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Vidya Jakkaraju said:
Things will just be normal again even before you know! Just believe in yourself and affirmations help! My prayers with you and your family!
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Sneha D said:
Hey Ronnie..From a 31 yr old stranger who is fighting an aggressive cancer as we speak – there is nothing the mind can’t achieve… its gonna be a long fight and you have it in you to fight it… take each day as it comes and be strong – here’s a video that made me cry, then laugh and finally feel strong…
just think of all the awesome things u need to do with your life beyond cancer.. we can beat it and we will!
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Subhadra said:
Ronnie – you will definitely beat this cancer! My thoughts and prayers are with you, Kelsey and your kids. Stay strong, stay positive.
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Swati said:
There are two kinds of people: Those who say, “I will believe it when I see it.”
And those who say, “To see it, I know I must believe it.” I would strongly recommend you to be the second type. Just see yourself getting better every night before you go to sleep and honestly believe it. Trust me within a few months, I’ll have you replying to this comment saying you’ve miraculously gotten better. It’s easier said than done, but it’s your life at stake here, take the leap of faith. Dissociate from the manifestation of your wish and don’t wonder about “how” it will happen. The universe will figure it out. Speaking from experience. Good luck Ronnie!
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Naomi said:
FUCK. Enough said. You got this Ron!
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Emily said:
I don’t know you, but you sound like a hard ass. You will beat this. Go get em’.
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jae dold said:
I know there is nothing I could say to make it better. All I can say is that Dave and I are thinking of you and are so, so deeply saddened to hear the news, and also so happy to hear of the arrival of your new little girl. You beat this, beat its ass good.
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LQ said:
Hey Ronnie, Congratulations to you and Kelsey on your baby girl! Just wanted to send you some positive energy and let you know that my family and I are thinking of you and wishing you all the best. If there is anything at all that we can do to help (albeit from a distance), please let us know.
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alex shvartsman said:
You’ll beat this like you used to beat my ass on the Wilbur courts and in intramurals. You got this. You fucking got this.
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Kenji said:
congrats on the new baby girl! you’ll beat this, Ronnie. sending you and your family positive vibes and thoughts from the G mother ship (yes, still here.)
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Lauren Fleshman said:
Sending love to you and Kelsey right now. Jeezus man. I’m glad you are letting people know what the deal is. Even though I haven’t seen you guys in a zillion years, Jesse and I can be counted in the hoards of people that will do whatever we can to help however you need.
When you have a chance to spell it out for us, make sure you let us know your biggest areas of need so all the people who love you can coordinate their efforts in a way that actually helps you and doesn’t annoy the shit out of you.
If it’s medical insurance, we can mobilize to help with bills. If it’s scarcity of time for you guys with the little ones, we can mobilize to help take time-suck stuff off your plate (grocery deliveries, meals, etc).
Just let us know when you know.
Lauren and Jesse
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Ramsey said:
Sending you support from Palo Alto. Let us know how/if we can help you as you battle this.
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Tom W said:
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful new daughter Beni! She is one more reason to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare for the fight for your life on your terms. From your description it sounds somewhat hopeful – no major damage yet, a wife and 2 beautiful kids to love and live with, and a spirit that will not waver. This could be an arduous journey, but I know you are up to the task. I am more than willing to do anything I can to help. I’m thinking only positive thoughts, and hope you will too. Peace and Love…
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amellin said:
Congrats on your new baby girl! Unbelievable news 😦 Sending lots of happy thoughts your way from an old-school G’er. Keep fighting!
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justin said:
Hey Ronnie, We don’t know each other but I saw this on one of my friends news feeds. Being a young cancer survivor myself, I’m really pulling for you to beat the cancer. Its odd every time I heard/read the word cancer it brings shivers down my spine just due to the fact it brings back memories for myself and I just want to let you know (as many others have) that you are not alone. Be strong and stay strong. You’ll be in my thoughts Ronnie.
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Beth said:
Ronnie, my heart goes out to you and Kelsey. I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, you’re in our prayers for a speedy recovery.
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Chris said:
Ronnie, first of all, congratulations on your baby girl and I hope she is bringing you all kinds of smiles every day! Secondly, I want you to know that I’m thinking about you with every expectation, that you, together with your medical team, will blast the tumor to smithereens. And you just let me know how I can make anything easier for you, and I’ll do whatever is in my power
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Alana Karen said:
Heard about this from people who use Facebook (I know, I know — I’m just not that social) so getting news late. Congratulations on your daughter. I haven’t seen you since probably way before we both had children. Happy to help you and your wife in any way I can as you fight and beat this.
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Bennet said:
You probably don’t know me. Ok, cross ‘probably.’ You definitely don’t know me. I was in Google Hyd, and was a part of the ‘Soul’ AdWords team, but by the time you came through, I had moved out.
Reading about your tumor has just reinforced my ongoing tirade about the fragility of life. But, I also believe – strongly, that is – about the resoluteness of one’s will. I am going to trust that you are going to be ok. I’m going to pray that you’re going to be fine. There isn’t an alternative. You are going to defeat this, and you will need prayers and positive thoughts, and I will do my part. God bless, Ron.
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Jeanne Williams said:
” If it’s at all beatable, I’ll beat it.”
I am rooting for you Ronnie…You’re in my thoughts.
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Joan Davis said:
From someone is doesn’t know you, but is a 15 year survivor of brain cancer surgery-(I’m on the prayer chain at Debi Erlichmans church)–EVERY BRAIN TUMOR IS DIFFERENT! You have a lot going for you, including your youth, and you’re in good hands at the UW.
Sending light and love to you and yours,
Joan Davis
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Dileep Konatham said:
Hi Ronnie,
I am from Google Hyderabad office. We met when you were here. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am sure you will emerge victorious in this fight!
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Vikas said:
Hi Ronnie,
Deeply saddened by this news…Wish you a speedy recovery. My prayers are with you. I have known you as being a determined and resolute person. May you have the strength to come out of this successfully.
Congratulations on the little one!
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Katherine said:
Hi, Ronnie. You don’t know me but I am part of a prayer chain that began when news broke out about your tumor. I cannot send you well wishes because they don’t do much, but I have been praying to our Creator that He would be with you and reveal Himself to you during this trial in a real way. I can only offer you words that God inspired men to write for us in the Bible, so that we may know Him. These words have given me peace that no person/thing can offer:
Philippians 4:6-7 = Do not worry about anything, but pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.
Psalm 91:1-2 = He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Luke 7:6 = And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, “Be uprooted and planted in the sea,” and it would obey you.
Mark 10:27 = Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”
God loves you Ronnie. Just because He is allowing you to go through this trial does not prove otherwise. He sent His Son to die for your sins (and the world’s) so that you would have a personal relationship with Him.
Our faith must be in Him alone, to enable the doctors to carefully perform the surgery and for no complications to follow once it’s over, for you to have the strength to endure treatments, for your wife to also believe and have the strength to walk through this with you and for your years on earth to be prolonged; it’s all in His hands! And did you know how small a mustard seed is? It is smaller than a point that a pen would make on a paper. Ridiculously small!
Expecting Him to do the impossible!
-Katherine
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Geoff said:
Ronnie,
Our prayers are with you as you approach surgery. Maintain your spirit, positivity, strength & faith, and know you have a lot of people rooting for you and your family. Congratulations on your baby girl.
Thoughts & Prayers,
Geoff
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Tara said:
I just saw this Ronnie…You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have no doubt you will fight with everything you have and beat this. All of my love to you and your family.
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Meghan Flannery Hayes said:
Ronnie – I just saw this. So glad to hear that the surgery went so well – and you got this!! Congrats on your new baby girl, and I hope the days of recovery just keep getting better and better. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
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Derek E. Baird said:
Reblogged this on Education Media Lab.
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